A Correspondence, Part III: From Texas with Disgust

This hopefully concludes the exchanges between our faithful correspondents at the Debaser and John W. So far, no one has gotten hurt. Below is John's response to Pat, followed by a note from Justin, who fled the state in horror.

From: John Wilkinson <blackcombs@live.com>
Date: Fri, Sep 17, 2010 at 4:06 PM
Subject: RE:
To: patwreckgee@gmail.com

Pat, You MUST be "playing" with me!!!!!! I'll take your letter and break that down later.  I see that you have invested "time" into it even if you are being 'silly!' --Maybe I shouldn't have said anything about the volgarity one time, or say it differently-- But, I ride the public trn system and you have these Hood types who know only bad words and it gets to me that the "SYSTEM" DOESN'T FIGHT IT.  I READ A GREAT ARTICLE By  ONE MARTHA RANDOLPH CARR PG 9 IN THE HERALD, today ABOUT our USA history.  TRY TO READ THAT IF YOU CAN.  I'LL BE MAKING COPY.

Pat, I am --back at you-- You put a lot forward in that letter.  Iraq: You are best sequating that 'thought' and taking it seperately.  I pick up "1" "good sourse" for "Iraq" just -today- but, it will take development.



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Thanks for the 'compliments'/ "probably" ("I imagine") more-the-case is, with -myself- "probably" i have a bad reputaition, not good! But I'm smiling saying that/ "I don't care".  Or, I will...but..."I don't know". I can tell you this: I have 'fields' that I -know- one of them is the field of: boxing/ but, that doesn't much help the 'general public'.  But, if one is an 'expert' in one field, it will give them 'cross hairs' sensitivity, so-to-say when one is 'talking generally'.  Anyhow, what i know with the -boxing- some of it can be discerned, then some of it "won't" be discerned.  Basically, fighters "names" is a -language, and I: am "expert reader", there [One "Hip" -slot- FOR YOUR READERS: "RATE them" the 'greater' between: Ernie Shavers, Ken Norton and Ron Lyle three hvywts. from "by-gone-years" -"Living Legends", too!].  My second -field- of expertice is: INNER CITY MAINTENANCE THEORY and this goes into a "branch" of Police Science; and -that- takes me into MY POLITICS, of which I have been attempting to 'get in' some-way, ever since I 'write-in' ran for mayor of New Britain, in 1997. [and I can tell you: "Discovery" came on my 2nd field -because- I was so 'deep' on my 1st field/ and my "2nd field" is -easy- to -understand-]  My "third" field is the Pizza restaurant Industry only "sales" and -basic set up ("zoneing")-  and, other things, like, I COULD -talk- about 'race' most probably [I have a good 'understanding' there....].  But, i have many "hobbys" and, we-are-yet "growing".  Politics: I have a "really dynamic" vision.  But, I -attack- certain "Hot Button" matters for instance: Gay Marriage? "Give me a break".  The govtmt can no longer 'preach' Character when something so "God Awful Gone" as Gay Marriage enters the picture.
DON'T EVEN MENTION -ANY- store i would "work" for by name.  Also: you are "joking" saying a anonumous call came in from "Dominos".
Believe you me, my boss has more than said to me that "Politics" and the business are forbidden.  And, that is "very reasonable".
About John McCain: I have made -attempt- to "communicate" with him -as we 'communicate'- but, it is very very very difficult to reach him singly. I suppose that can be understood. He's a "good man".  I have what he sends but at this time I haven't been spending ANY TIME going thru it.  I was thinking how I aught to -try- to get a 'beed' on some of it.
 I'll have to look at your letter -again- next time.  have a good day, Pat. Write to me at-any-time.  thank You.  My best for Justin!  He strikes me as good/ and decent person!  Your newspaper is "Hot!" & I -like- -all Newspapers- ps: My Facebook is at: John_Wilkinson-History@live.com -for you- -for Justin ("no pottie mouth, please!" -ha, ha!- SWEARING SHOULDN'T BE COMMON and by the way, I am -born- at FALMOUTH, MASS.) Add: "100 %/ 90 %" Population/ Iraq?  What are you talking about/ Or: you are "testing" if I am reading you, right?

John,

Howdy Patna!

Reckgee forwarded me your email, as your last letter prompted me to leave Connecticut for a few days. He told you I was in Pennsylvania, denouncing my line of work and seeking God. He's wrong. I am writing to you from Texas, about two hours east of Houston in an undisclosed location while I prepare to repatriate back into the state. I couldn't even tell him where I really went, because I straight up don't trust the douchebag.

Everything is bigger here in Texas; the trucks, the beer, the amount of fast food chains, the women, people and all their misplaced ambition. I think everyone drives big trucks and stays strapped to hide the fact they all have no balls. We dressed up like cowboys, douggied for free pickle-juice vodka shots, did summersaults in a lake house, danced like fools, and got weird looks everywhere we went. I played around with a snub-nosed pistol last night, and am preparing paperwork for a gun permit for when I return. But don't worry, I have no urge to actually use it. It's all for the show.

So I am glad you are wishing me luck. I read your letter about seven times, and with each read come more questions. I find it odd that you refer to me as a "good and decent person" after pretty much making a threat against my life. But what I find even more odd is your stance opposing gay marriage, while also writing to me with fondness about Ralph Nader, who strongly supports it.

Why shouldn't we let gays have the same legal rights as straight people? And why don't we even allow gay people, who voluntarily serve in the military, to disclose their homosexuality without being discharged just for the opportunity to walk across a field and get their faces blown off by a roadside IED?

Talk like yours would actually make you fit right in down here in Texas. But at this point, I don't know what's funnier: People here in Texas or your letters. That's why I want to make a truce and offer you a weekly column for the Debaser. I have a few stipulations first. One, do yourself a favor and proof read your letters, or just have the common decency to run a spell check. Two, go easy on the caps lock. I feel like you are screaming at me sometimes. Three, try and stay on topic for more than ten words. I know people have short attention spans nowadays, but let's try and stay focused. We're all professionals at the Debaser.

Your first assignment is to go back to the McMahon campaign and ask for an Ed Patru, her campaign spokesman. He's a short, box-faced looking fella who suffers from a Napoleon complex. Prolly hates gay marriage, humor and sex. Talk to him for a bit. He'll give you plenty of material to write about.

Good luck,

Justin